Discipline vs Punishment – Tough Love Parenting Doesn’t Mean Physical
How many times have you jerked your child’s arm or spanked them while you were still angry? Even the best parents can overreact and discipline in a negative way. We all do the best we can. However, there are some positive steps you can take so that this doesn’t happen. Tough love parenting doesn’t mean physical.
The first order of business is to stop thinking in terms of ”punishment.” It is much better to “discipline” naughty children. Punishment is punitive while discipline is corrective. There is a difference, despite what other articles about parenting may say. Spare the rod and spoil the child is out, you can go to jail or lose your kids for behaving in this manner, especially if the old lady at the counter in a convenience store watches you slap a child who won’t stop crying.
It happens. When we lose our temper and become reactionary, we often act without thinking. We don’t mean to, but sometimes we punish children too harshly, and the results can be emotionally abusive to our kids-besides, we feel bad afterward and you can’t take it back, no matter how much you want to. The damage has been done.
Toddlers and children who are up to the age of pre-teen are clumsy; it’s part of their stage of development. If your child spills the milk all over and you happen to be in a hurry, you’re setting yourself up for failure by punishing them by yelling or hitting. Most parents don’t take the milk spilling this far, but it does happen. Unless they threw the milk at you, it was an accident and needs to be treated like one. If they did throw the milk at you, take away the milk and the rest of their breakfast, they won’t starve. Put them on ”time out” until they apologize, then drop the subject and let them have their food back.
Teenagers need the kind of discipline wherein they receive the consequences of their actions. Unless you are willing to stay home with them, I’ve found that grounding your teenagers doesn’t really work. They need direct consequences that are proportionate to the crime. For instance, if they are suspended from school, they no longer have to do homework. Give them an assignment. You may have to get creative but it’s worth it. Effective parenting skills include coming up with something more imaginative than sending them to their rooms.
Effective parenting skills comparing discpline meanbe physical. Tough love parenting and positive discipline books to help are available online. You can read excerpts from most of them to help you decide which ones are best for you, and reflect your belief system. Type ‘positive discipline’ into the Amazon search engine and see what you come up with.
